“This [KataKuKa] is a fool's dream.” - Ruwido S. Ngantung

[Jun 16th, 12:01] is To Do and To Love

Love sure is inspirational!

Okay. Still got the deadly mix of emotions clouding my head: the self-pity, hopelessness, anger, and whatever else. Luckily, I remembered about those thing I preached – to myself, ain’t no priest I am :) – about little perfect things. And what do you know? Those same little perfect things worked not only in the moment of inspiration, but in a moment of desperation, too!

Disregarding all the emotions I felt, I picked myself up to do something. Anything. And I chose to play with the design of this blog. Well, I do love to design. It’s the one thing that I like to do whole-heartedly no matter how good or bad or say-what-you-want the result would be. So I tried some little changes. Not much. Picking up some color scheme, simple background, and other things. And this is what I got (I love designing web, but I’m not claiming mine is a great design :P). Well, I like what I see. Love it, actually. So it’s good. For me, at the very least :D.

The “down-syndrome” is still hanging around, though. I managed to deal with it. I faced it, turned it to productivity. But I did not manage to make it go away. Not yet, perhaps? Don’t know. One at a time, I guess.

So. Here is the new new design I called Love Do :).

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[Jun 15th, 06:04] is Another Dark Night of The Soul!

No. It's not just a mere bad mood stroke. It's a total eclipse of the heart.

Why is this happening?

Just after everything became so clear?

All inspirations and excitements vanished. Swallowed by the darkness. Where did I go wrong? Where did this darkness come from?

How can this darkness be so strong? Even prayer and meditation drag me down deeper into it.

The gravity of it takes away every single ray of hope. I fell from the great light of grace to the darkest pit of ego-sentric negativity in a single instance.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. There’s nothing that I know I can do to get rid of it.

Pray. Have faith. Pray.

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[Jun 14th, 11:43] is With or Without Image?

It's about the new look. How do you like it, with a main image, or without?

This is the look with a main image.

This one is the plain one. Oh, well. It’s the one you’re looking at right now (no, not the snapshot, the entire blog)!

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[Jun 14th, 04:42] is The Little Perfect Things

A whole hearted work: a work without regret and shame.

Let’s promise ourselves.

To do the little perfect things for all of our actions, of our works, of our life. To have those little things, perfect in the whole hearted efforts we spent for them. Perfect as a work well done. Perfect, as there won’t be any regret nor shame no matter how right or wrong it turned out to be. Perfect, for the lesson learned.

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[May 28th, 10:48] is Kring, Kring!

Karena demonstrasi paling 1 atau 2 minggu saja, kata orang (tertentu).

Kayuhlah sepedamu
Tariklah nafasmu

Tahanlah perutmu
Sunggingkan senyummu

Kring, kring!
Ayo, kayuh!

Segarkanlah sesama dalam semangatmu
meski kosonglah dalam perutmu

Kau tahu ada yang tak peduli,
meski perut penuh sekalipun

Tapi bukan kau

Kau tersenyum,
mengayuh melintasi jalan hidup penderitaan

Kau mengayuh,
menebar semangat damai di tengah ketakutan

Kau tahu ada yang tak punya hati,
meski lolong sengsara bergaung di telinganya

Tapi bukan kau

Perutmu kosong,
tapi damai penuhi hatimu

Hartamu tiada,
kau bagi senyum dari hatimu

Di manakah kau?

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