Don’t know how and what I did, but all of a sudden there’s a cursor annoyingly appeared every time I click anywhere on any web page. More to it, the page up/ page down is giving me a real annoying problem since it won’t work in a good manner as it used to be.
Well, such a small option somewhere with such a great effect (for me!). Now, everything is a OK again. Still loving Firefox (and Opera, sometime Safari – and you simply can’t help it with IE, it’s a must) :D.
Here’s the problem. I got to build some simple e-learning system. With quite a handful of free e-learning system out there, should I build from scratch or just pick one of the ready-to-use solution and customize it as needed?
I don’t know if it’s my ego or me being plain lazy, but I don’t like the prospect of reading all the complex codes and data structure of the already complex app if I could just build a simple clean prototype and start developing it from there.
Finally, after quite a long time paper trading, I made my first real trade in FX market. It’s a really-really small trade with a really-really-REALLY small account. The result is a 110 pips profit AND 22 pips loss.
Well, paper trading is something. I’m grateful that I did that before doing any real trade. But even with that kind of preps, the emotion of having real profits never failed to try to tempt you. My loss is the proof of my greed. I got big headed with the profit and decided without enough preparation to open another trade to gain more profit. I fell in love with that position, though after looking the chart I fully realize it’s not gonna work and I should’ve exit while it’s a breakeven. But, nooo! I WANT profit! And I got myself a lesson worth 22 pips over my inital profit. Thank god I still have my system watching my back!
That’s that. Looking forward for a new week for a new trade. And hopefully my ISP be kind enough to fix my internet connection, as of now, it’s one big s**t waste of time just to have this entry posted!
Okay. Still got the deadly mix of emotions clouding my head: the self-pity, hopelessness, anger, and whatever else. Luckily, I remembered about those thing I preached – to myself, ain’t no priest I am :) – about little perfect things. And what do you know? Those same little perfect things worked not only in the moment of inspiration, but in a moment of desperation, too!
Disregarding all the emotions I felt, I picked myself up to do something. Anything. And I chose to play with the design of this blog. Well, I do love to design. It’s the one thing that I like to do whole-heartedly no matter how good or bad or say-what-you-want the result would be. So I tried some little changes. Not much. Picking up some color scheme, simple background, and other things. And this is what I got (I love designing web, but I’m not claiming mine is a great design :P). Well, I like what I see. Love it, actually. So it’s good. For me, at the very least :D.
The “down-syndrome” is still hanging around, though. I managed to deal with it. I faced it, turned it to productivity. But I did not manage to make it go away. Not yet, perhaps? Don’t know. One at a time, I guess.
So. Here is the new new design I called Love Do :).
No. It's not just a mere bad mood stroke. It's a total eclipse of the heart.
Why is this happening?
Just after everything became so clear?
All inspirations and excitements vanished. Swallowed by the darkness. Where did I go wrong? Where did this darkness come from?
How can this darkness be so strong? Even prayer and meditation drag me down deeper into it.
The gravity of it takes away every single ray of hope. I fell from the great light of grace to the darkest pit of ego-sentric negativity in a single instance.
I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. There’s nothing that I know I can do to get rid of it.
wahhh ganti lagi neh hehehe... kamunya tambah kreatif, akunya tambah males hahaha... maunya bikin design ga jadi2 hehehe
met hari minggu n ditunggu hari nikahnya hihihi
Shouted on [Jun 21st, 12:34]
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